She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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