Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
