I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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