You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
