What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
