He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
