Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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