Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
