I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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