OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
