do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
