operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
