Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
