No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
