i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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