I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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