come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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