I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
