I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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