i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
