i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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