There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
