I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
