We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
