Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
