I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
