I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
