Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
