My boss' voice literally gives me gas
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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