Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
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