I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
