At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
