I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
