i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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