They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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