omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
