And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
