I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
