Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
