I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
