if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
