I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
