I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
