He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
