My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
