? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
