You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
