There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
