I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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