Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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